Hatake, Uchiha and Bunshinnojutsu
by bhut
Summary: AU: Kakashi's and Sasuke's attempt to bond horribly backfires on Kakashi.


**Hatake, Uchiha and Bunshin-no-jutsu**

**Or**

**How Sasuke learned to channel his inner Obito**

_Disclaimer: None of the characters are mine, but belong to Mr. Kishimoto._

Once upon a time, Hatake Kakashi took his student Uchiha Sasuke for a camping/shinobi training trip to the outskirts of Konoha. Normally, one would expect Hatake to taken his entire genin team (team 7) for this sort of an outing, but Naruto was getting training tips from his godfather Jiraya the Toad Sage instead of Kakashi, and nobody cared about Sakura, so just Kakashi and Sasuke it was.

And needless to say, the master and the apprentice did not get along. "Sasuke, you're a spoilt brat," Kakashi was insisting. "You've been given kindness and threw it back in their faces, you're neglecting your teammates, you're destroying any relationship you've had with your classmates-"

"Great shinigami in the afterlife, when will he ever shut up?" Sasuke mused after one such criticism session. "What kindness? From whom? The fan girls with the brainpower of a single retarded squirrel, starting with Sakura and Ino? From that boy, Uzumaki? He's Konoha's idiot – friendly with everybody in general; so friendly that he almost makes my teeth rot! And the sensei himself? If he compares me to himself or to my late cousin Obito one more time, I'll learn the _mangyoko_ just to trap him in a room with a moose for days! But-"

It was then that Sasuke's musings were interrupted, naturally, by Kakashi. "Sasuke, are you listening to me?" he asked sternly.

That struck another nerve. As far as Sasuke was concerned, Kakashi was the biggest blowhard that had ever learned the _chidori_ and one thousand of other jutsus. And _he_ was concerned about _Sasuke's_ wandering attention?

"I'm sorry, Kakashi-sensei," Sasuke said with a false contriteness that he didn't know he possessed. "Were you saying something about tomatoes?"

Kakashi twitched and fell silent. Since Sasuke himself was never chatty to begin with, silence came over the little campfire and settled there for good.

Unfortunately, Kakashi didn't make any conclusions from Sasuke's rather unconventional reply, and by the next afternoon, everything was apparently back to normal. Only it wasn't.

"How can I make Kakashi to get into his head that I'm not buying what he's selling?" Sasuke mused to himself as the sun began to sink behind the tops of the local trees. "Where was this self-proclaimed Mr. Friendly when Itachi killed all of our family? Or has his friendliness extended only to my cousin Obito and no further?"

Thinking about Obito made Sasuke to think about Naruto as well: the more he heard about the former, more similar he appeared to have been like the latter. And Naruto, Sasuke was sure, wouldn't stick around listening to some lectures: he would place a kage bunshin in his place and sneak-off.

"But I can't make a kage bunshin," Sasuke thought glumly. "For some reasons fates decided to give that boy a barge-load of chakra instead of some worthier person." (And by that person Sasuke meant himself.) "What I have are just some regular bunshin, and-"

There was nobody around – save for a goshawk that was hiding in foliage waiting for some late afternoon bird to fly by to be captured – to see Sasuke acquire his bright idea, and that was good. For the grin that followed Sasuke's bright idea was very, very scary after all.

"Sasuke!" Kakashi turned to his student later that evening, when they made camp once again, "I want to talk to you about yesterday's discussion. Of all the things that I expected you to be, inattentive wasn't one of them. Are you listening to me now?"

"Pull the other one – it got bells on," Sasuke replied monotonously, still starting at the campfire.

Kakashi blinked – Sasuke never had been so crudely rude to him before – and jabbed at him with one hand. Immediately, the bunshin (for that's what it was – just a regular, low-chakra bunshin) vanished, leaving Kakashi with a suspicion that last time that crack with the tomatoes had come from a bunshin as well.

At this point in the narration, it should be pointed out that Kakashi had forgotten – from the lack of use (a jounin has no need to rely on academy-level bunshin version ever, especially under normal circumstances) – the ease of usage of academy-level bunshin as opposed to kage bunshin that Naruto used to solve his problems whenever they arose.

In any case, after Kakashi had dispelled Sasuke's bunshin, he noticed a rather out-of-the-way trail leading away from the campsite, leading in a direction where exercise-sounding sounds came from. Deciding that Sasuke decided to leave his bunshin in his stead so that he could practice to his heart's contents, Kakashi went that way, intent on giving the Uchiha genin a piece of his mind and more.

Moreover, when Kakashi did arrive at the small clearing, he did see a Sasuke-like figure practicing his kata (not _chidori_ or similar chakra-expensive jutsus) there.

Here some more clarifications should be made. Kage bunshin are very chakra expensive, you need to be a Kage, or a chakra powerhouse of a jinchuriki to maintain even one or two for a sufficiently long amount of time. Academy-level bunshin, conversely, can be made in a significant numbers even by greenhorn genin, such as Sasuke. However, unlike even more advanced bunshin, let alone kage bunshin, these bunshin are useless for anything remotely complicated, save, say, for a set of crude moves – as Kakashi had to realize, when his pounce on Sasuke caused the bunshin to be dispelled, and Kakashi, unable to check his movements in time, fell belly-first...

...On an anthill. The ants didn't object to the presence of Sasuke's bunshin – they could tell that it wasn't a real deal in ways that humans couldn't. However, they could also tell that Kakashi lying on top of their anthill _was_ real, and they objected vehemently to that development by crawling from under the ground and biting and stinging Kakashi quite viciously.

Kakashi, of course, was a jounin. That meant that he was up on his feet once again in a flash, running through the darkening woods (the sun had almost set by now), looking for Sasuke to teach him pain. And, sure enough, he was able to find him soon, standing before a rock, looking innocently at his ant-bitten sensei. Kakashi, naturally, put a great burst of speed, intent on slamming the genin against the rock and teaching him the inappropriateness of his prank...when Sasuke's third and final bunshin got dispelled, and Kakashi ran at his full speed into a very large rock, knocking himself out for good.

Sasuke, upon seeing this, got from behind that rock, grabbed Kakashi by the collar and managed to drag him to their camp, before going back to Konoha proper to speak with Umino Iruka, or rather to express his appreciation of Iruka's teaching methods as opposed to Kakashi's. Consequently, when Kakashi was able to recover himself by next morning and prepared to give Sasuke an earful (to put it lightly) he was met not just by Sasuke, but also by Iruka, who gave Kakashi that same earful regarding Kakashi's teaching methods in general, and Icha-Icha Paradise in particular.

Needless to add, Sasuke didn't stick with Kakashi after that: rather, he went back to Konoha and studied the jutsu basics under Ebisu for the rest of the training sessions – and he didn't mind. After all, even if Ebisu didn't teach him any new jutsus, he didn't moralize Sasuke either, and that was what mattered.

Of course, Kakashi also realized that he'd been had, and swore revenge on Sasuke – but that is another story.

End


End file.
